In a new thing I am doing directly based on my 52 Cards and inspired by Teresa Robinson’s inspiration and truthful wisdom on her site and with her own 52 cards I have begun working in this little notebook that I was given by a good friend after she visited China (and married over there!).`
I love it, and I love the pages. It is pocket sized and I love the binding. I didn’t want to “waste” it. I had done one page already last year and then no further.
Mainly I was working on my 52 cards though in this style. I did more of those than I shared on here, but I didn’t finish them. I have wondered whether to share what I had done. Or to start again at the start of the year. My wondering turned into procrastination and I didn’t start any cards at the start of the year.
A couple of weeks ago I decided I was not going to share the remaining cards. Not because of any big secrets on them, but they were done. I don’t even think I could talk sensibly to them now. Well, I probably could. But they would be no less done. And I had no words for them. So I decided to leave them.
There is a quiet power in that decision of not sharing. That feeling that everything you create does not have to be shared even if you are blogging and wanting to make a business out of your creating. That there can be creating that is just for you.
It goes to the very heart of why I stopped blogging for a while. That question of why am I sharing this? What is my motivation? Am I doing it just to garner feedback. Or just for connection. And what does that mean at it’s very core for me. And then the question of why we create. All big questions. Certainly not a track I was envisioning when I began this post, so I will gracefully step off that little track and back on to the one I began on. :)
So the final outcome is that there will be no more of the series my 52 cards. But that process of reflecting each week is a powerful one that made such a real difference to my life. The words that would be found and chosen. I can’t say enough about it. So incredibly powerful. Truly.
In that spirit, I missed not doing the cards. Having that dedicated reflection (and I know I could have done it anytime, but I liked the dedicated time to reflection at the end of the week), and I was thinking about starting it up again when I came across my book while looking for something else. I saw that first page and a 1000 little twinkly lights twinkled and I realised I could use this little book in place of a card.
When I had done the first page I realised that there was space for writing about any thoughts or ideas that had come up. So my new weekly reflection journal was born. Combining found words and written words, a powerful tool already. Last weekend after some truly testing personal experiences I came to such an incredible story-reframing realisation about it all, after looking at the words ad then beginning journaling.
Things I knew in my head, but didn’t really know in my bones yet clearly. And all of a sudden I got it. The words formed themselves on the page and I wondered what had made those words come to the surface. Powerful stuff in a gut punching kind of way. So all this to say that while My 52 cards is no longer a feature, my Weekly Reflections are likely to be.
They will be useful to track my journey and progress. At this stage however just the found words will be shared. There is also wisdom when sharing and not sharing in knowing where those boundaries lie for each of us. For me right now, the balance feels right.