Is it a sign when you have to log back in to WordPress that you have been missing in action for too long??
Gosh. I just took photos of my latest “My 52 Cards” card and realised that I had not taken photos of the one before that. Aaargh!! Life has gotten away from me in real life (evidenced by my laundry pile and library overdue fines) which means I have been away from here as I try and keep up. I feel like I am so scattered that I am letting a lot of balls fall but I am here checking in, and hopefully semi keeping the ball from smashing heavily down to earth!
I have been working essentially full time in proper paid work which has been great, the extra money will give us some breathing room, that is for sure, and I love the research/analysis work I have been doing. Work that makes you feel like you are making a difference. I am especially grateful for sanity that I have been able to do it from home which has helped a lot with managing children, though it has not been without some teething problems as I am available a bit less and things still need to happen…I may have had a couple of unsexy meltdowns as the reality of not been fully available and able to do EVERYTHING became realised by all but we have gotten to here relatively in tact!! .
I would even love it was more permanent, though I think it is only for another couple of weeks so I am making the most of it, though I would have to also be a whole lot more organised if it was more permanent!! Also I am going to buy myself a new camera, which is also *squee* exciting and I am looking forward to doing the research on that. And then actually buying it. I will warn you because I suspect I will become very excited about taking photos again!! :)
Still I know I am behind on things including blog reading, but I am trying to get my blog reader back up to day…so expect flurries of comments in little bursts!! I suspect some of the scattered feeling is also because I have not been doing my morning pages very regularly…note to self!! But I am trying not to self-flagellate myself with some of my more recent negative self-talk about how crap I am doing and exercise a bit more self-compassion.
So…a bit of an update and catch up.
First I was over here briefly…with this.
I cannot stress how much fun this was. it makes me smile thinking about it even now. In the middle of all this contracting work, where I have had moments of wondering if I am good enough to do it, flinging paint is a most excellent stress reliever…
And my latest 52 card contributions.
This one was done in the midst of been so exhausted from working and mothering (is there a difference sometimes) and I look at it now, and see how emotionally heavy I felt, but still somewhat positive and on track towards the bigger picture. At least an awareness that I shouldn’t get hung up on the heaviness, though with my depression journey I am always especially conscious of feeling heavy, to keep a careful eye that it doesn’t go further.
My last one was this:
A lot lighter, also done when we were just home from spending a weekend on my Aunt’s farm a few hours away. I did not a lot more than read my kindle and soak in the sun, and it gave me some breathing space from everything that was so needed.
Reflected by the words I chose!! :)
I will be back tomorrow with another post and more photos! So as not to wear out my welcome.