The life we live daily (card #25/52)

Wow.  Nearly half way.  This practice has taught me such a lot about myself.  Today’s card is very reflective of the latter half of my week as well.

The painting on the front is a painting I did a couple of years ago on a diary page that I have saved in my collage box to use at some stage.  This week I did not feel drawn to a lot of words and when I saw her I felt very drawn to putting her on this week’s card.

Our daily world (#25/52)

Eight weeks ago someone that my beloved used to work with closely was diagnosed with cancer.  This afternoon we are going to his funeral.  He was only 45.

It has taken up a lot of my thinking.  Eight weeks.  The difference that that amount of time can cause to a person’s dreams and very life.  A wake up call of sorts for the rest of us as we sat absorbing the news very shell shocked late last week.  At the start of the year he and his wife still had their dreams and future in tact.  His wife’s future is now very different, and the reality of that is unimaginable for me.  She has been in my constant thoughts.  His whole family have.

It has also made me think think about what I would do differently with only eight weeks.  It won’t be made up with the big ticket items on my list-of-things-to-do-before-I-die.  It will in reality with only that amount of time be the life I am living now.  So is the life I am living now, the life i would choose to be living if I had only eight weeks.

Generally I am grateful to say it is.  There is not a lot I would choose to change or regret about my life as it stands right now.  It would be my lost dreams of a future and missing my children’s future moments that would cause me the most distress.

It has also made me think about the potential of things I want to do but haven’t because I am not sure what I am doing, or how it would all work or what I have to do.  And I don’t like to fail. In eight weeks all my chances and choices could be removed from me, and then one of my regrets would be the life I have not lived and the chances I have not taken even if I bomb wildly.  At least I would have tried.  I won;t be living in the not knowing one way or another, a live only half lived.

So.  That is where I am.  This week.  Looking at those actions that make up my everyday private world, the real live, not those grandiose dreams that go on our lists of things we want to do.  What are we doing in the here and now.  The life we live daily is the life that counts in the end, that says who we were, who we are.  What is it that makes our lives now, the ones we want to be living and that we won’t regret.

The power of eight weeks will be the most lasting legacy he has left to me, it is up to me how well lived my eight weeks are.  A paradigm shift if ever there was one.

Inspired to note my week’s reflections by the 52 card project that Teresa is doing.  Her words are worth reading anyway in my experience, but her words about this project in this post sum up perfectly what the project has meant to me.  “It was my way of leaving bread crumbs to mark my path“. These cards are indeed my breadcrumbs to my path.  Every single one.

Having just read this post, it also astounds me how much it ties up with the thoughts behind my card this week, and the thoughts in my head.  Synchronicity across the oceans.

Live your life well. xx

Bedding in the practice

RYWLinking up with Virginia’s rocking ladies over here.

To be honest I was going to take this week off, I was pretty sure I had not a lot to contribute, but the practice of finding those rocking sparkly moments is even more necessary in those times that you are not sure they exist, so I am here.  The funny thing is that when I got here to rustle up some words, I realised I did in fact have rocking moments to share.  It is curious that events that occur later can shadow and cloud what has gone on before.  A lesson to be learned.

So.  I am grateful for my beloved.  Truly grateful that he is who he is, and he is alive here with me.  I love that man so incredibly much and I am grateful he feels the same sort of way!!   Well he better!  :D

The children are right near the top of that list as well, bit of them make me so proud even when they are driving me insane and I am so pleased they are forging their own independence ways, even if I don’t always see eye to eye with them.  I would rather have these learning experiences with them, than have one of those mythical children who barely say boo and never get into trouble. (Though to be honest I sometimes need to remind myself of that!!) :)

I am grateful for magnolia’s again.  Also that while taking photos (while I was meant to be exercising), I receive text messages to tell me my instagram will look gorgeous but where is the sweat?!  I love that sense of connection in my little community.  It is one thing to have all of you people around me and to feel that connection but it is wonderful to have a sense of that a bit closer to me as well.  I am grateful.

Winter is nearly over... #magnoliamagic

Distracted by #magnoliamagic on my walk/jog/photo-taking this morning!

Also I ordered a zine from this lovely soul over here and it arrived this week with perfect timing and I love it. It is all kinds of wonderful wordy goodness. So irreverent and glorious and it made me laugh.

IMG_20130823_145113

I had a Skype call with this inspirational wonder who sparks possibilities and casts such a warm glow that she lights you up with your own potential even if you don’t fully see it. A truly magical moment of this week in so many ways. I hope we are able to do it again.

I am also grateful for my local library and the ability to borrow books and read them, it is such a genius service, I am also grateful to the person who invented libraries.

Also, I know I have banged on about our Winter, but it was on the news the other night that it has been the warmest one in over 100 years…it was not just me is what I am pointing out…that it really has been a lot milder. I normally am not a HUGE fan of Winter, I detest feeling cold (especially cold toes), I am such a snake preferring to soak up the heat of Summer, though I admit maybe the amount of words I have devoted to our mild Winter is a bit of an overkill. These will be the last ones I mention this year (also easy to promise because Spring is nearly here!!)

Finally I received a call about some contract work last week and am very grateful to be able to do that work this week in amongst my other creative pursuits. It certainly eases the budget a little as well. Universe I am open to more in case you are listening!!

I am also grateful for your kind comments, they have cheered me up so much this week. Thank you for the kind and lovely comments you make. I appreciate all of them.

I hope everyone is having a fabulous week.

Feeling stuck and sitting with it

Visual Quest WIP

This is my painting for Pixie’s online workshop.  It has been in this state for nearly a week and has not moved.  I love it at the moment, and I feel stuck about ruining it.  The energy and colours (it is more teal turquoise than the blue it seems in this photo), I like it a lot.  Too much.  I am very attached to this layer.

I know that you are meant to take a photo and then add another layer.  Begin again, but I feel a bit stuck.  Also I am not feeling inclined to force myself to add another layer (or is that too chicken).  So it sits here for now.  And I am beginning work on another canvas.

Feeling a lot like a cheat, but trusting that I will eventually find the way to finish it.

This is also, I realise, how I end up with so many unfinished pieces!!

Dream so much more (Card #24/52)

{Deep breath}  Card #24.  This year is spinning by.

This card was made in the middle of some very left-brained contract work, taking a brief pause because I am committed to doing this on a Sunday even if Sunday has other plans (combined with my procrastination Spring Cleaning of the house!!!)

Dream so much more (#24/52)

I grabbed what was around me at first, but there were words missing, so I grabbed another magazine, and the other words actually came from an insert in the magazine that fell out on the way.  As I picked it up I saw it was for fitness equipment and I was going to throw it in the recycling, but a couple of the phrases grabbed me on the way.

I wonder sometimes if those finds are serendipitous or laziness because I was on a tight deadline, sometimes I wonder what influences the other.  Sometimes I maybe think too much!!  :D

In any event this was the card that was finished last night.

The first words to be glued on were “Starts”, “so much more” and “a shortcut”.  The other words slowly built up around them.  Despite the gaps between those words I love the way the other words fit in to the gaps, last night there was “no time for playing” so words were glued down straight away or discarded.  Reading it now, I love the way they fit together to fill the space.

Part way through I wondered what I was going to end up with, but in the end it works out…if I keep listening to my gut about what words to use, and don’t try to force other “maybe” words in.  There is a lesson in there as well! haha

I hope you all have a fantabulous week filled with life and love and laughter. Also tingly spines!

This card is made on a playing card from a deck as per Teresa’s inspiration over at Right Brained Planner.  A weekly moment of pause and reflection on a playing card, easy to fit in but such a powerful practice.  Teresa’s post this week talks about avoiding having everything in final format, a lesson I needed to hear at just this moment.  The draft version is sometimes enough.

In my sketchbook

I thought I would share some of my recent sketchbook pages today.  It is no accident that they are filled with animals given I am in the middle of Pixie’s class.

It has been an interesting process, the sketching in combination with Shamanic journeying.  It will also be interesting to see if the sketches end up coming through n my art, and in what way the practice will feed into other areas.

I am trying not to get too far ahead of myself and to keep out of my own way a bit.

Playing with colour and pattern. I am quite drawn to this earth palette at the moment.

Colour and pattern

This sketch of a slug, they have been appearing in abundance for me. Unfortunately many of them have been in my vege garden. But they have been turning up in some odd places like well like randomly from heaven on my bathroom floor?! Not entirely sexy really, but I do wonder if it is some sort of totem animal for me…and they have come up for me before like here. The gift they have to offer is quite powerful and in many ways appropriate for me so who knows!? :)

Slug Sketch

Sketches of shadowy creatures…

Shadow Sketch

This. This may be my favourite sketch. I am loving sketching with my neocolor IIs at the moment.

Crab Sketch

This fierce guide made an appearance as well, completely unexpectedly. :)

Shark Sketch

A bear popped in as well, just for a brief moment but she made a lasting impression.

Bear Sketch

Bear Sketch

It is an interesting process for me and I am trying not to interfere too much and just trust in the process. Looking up the meanings of the animals afterwards has also been filled with potential insight as well.

The scribblings are notes from my shamanic journeying or insights about the animals/creatures I wanted to note down.  It just depends what is closer on whether I reach for my sketchbook or for my journal.

Rocking this week

RYWLinking up with Virginia and the girls over here.  Come join in the gratitude sharing, it really makes a difference when you see your blessings written out.  :)

I mentioned before, but I was elected on to the Board of Trustee’s at my children’s school and then I became chair person and this week I had to run my first meeting and I was very, very nervous.  There are some amazing people on the board and I was very intimidated in case I stuffed up completely but they were all very kind and we finished on time.  I was so relieved to have the first meeting out of the way.  I have some training coming up on running effective meetings and figure things can only improve from now, so very grateful to have that first meeting over and no massive problems.  :)

{deep breath}

I got some contract work this week which I am very grateful for, but it was unexpected so I am now very busy as I have swiftly changed my plans mid-course.  It has reminded me how much I actually enjoy report writing, it is a nice complement to the creative side of me.

I am very grateful for my beloved who stepped up to the plate like a brave trouper when I had a small meltdown of overwhelm, before I got stuck in and made a list of what I had to do and began to focus.

I am also grateful for friends who tell me to open the wine when I phone them with children frustrations and they can hear the cacophony in the background.  Also that they stayed on the phone with me while I drank my glass of wine so I was not drinking alone.  :D

I was talking to my daughter’s teacher and she told me about this new thing they had just done in her house, based on something that her daughter’s teacher used in the class room. It had made her mornings easier with her children, so I went home immediately and painted it and so far more peace has been had, though it has had a few unexpected teething problems as well. Touch wood this will bring a lot more peace however, today it has gone a lot better than yesterday. Also…ka pai is Maori for good, and ka kino is Maori for not so good…in case you were wondering. :) Like a public service announcement!! haha

New reward chart for the kidlets is ready to go live! #crossingmyfingersforpeace

There was a just another giant earthquake (6.9) but thankfully I missed it and didn’t feel it on my way to get the children, so I am very grateful for that right now, as I feel much less anxious than I did last time, even with all the aftershocks.

Victoria had a playdate with a friend of hers at school, who happens to be a boy. She has been the subject of much of her brothers teasing with rhymes involving trees and kissing. She had a fantastic time though, and wrote a beautiful note that she showed me when she was finished. I love that she clarified she loved him as a friend, not anything else untoward happening there!! :)

Miss 6 had a play date yesterday and wrote a note last night. I love she clarified she only loved him as a friend after her brother's teasing all week.

My class with Pixie Campbell is going great and I have been playing with this off and on in between my contract work which is the perfect combination.

Visual Quest WIPIt is big, over half a metre and it pleases me. There is a part of me that wants to stop now before I ruin it. But I will always have the photo! :)

{Also just had another big aftershock and maybe I am not as calm as I thought I was!!}

I won this giveaway some time ago over at Sunshineshelle, and it arrived today. I have thought about it on and off but it felt rude to enquire if she hadn’t sent it, but when it arrived today I had completely forgotten so it was complete glee that I discovered what it was. I LOVE IT. Completely excited me in an insane way, she is such an amazing painter!! It is so much more amazing in person than even the photo I just noticed, stunning I tell you!

And that is me this week. I have just received some other not so rocking news, so I will say to hold your babies tight and tell them you love them.

Hope you all have a most wonderful weekend.

My

Reflections on time

My card for last week…card #23/52.

I didn’t realise until the card was finished that there were a lot of time references on the card…even an old clock hand from a long broken clock. Clearly time and my use of it has been in my mind recently (quite a lot actually).

Time reflection

I have been aiming to do at least one thing a day towards creating the life want and have reorganised the way I use time and prioritise my time so it was interesting to see what phrases I was attracted to this week.

The card background was some of Victoria’s art, she can be quite prolific, and in an attempt to avoid cleaning up she then gifts me all her efforts so I end up tidying it…such a generous (and very clever) soul.

At the moment I have a lot going on, some art stuff, some contract stuff, a to-do list that is growing ever longer with household chores, but so far I am keeping my head above water…though sometimes I have moments that I wonder (household chores are missing out on attention until the weekend this week). Overall though, it does feel like things are coming together and doors are beginning to open for me that I am very grateful for. Hello tomorrow indeed. :)

To find out more about this project of weekly reflection on a deck of cards check out Teresa’s words here.  My cards are totally inspired by her wisdom and affirmation which I am very grateful for.  :)