Connections and letting go

Inspired by Teresa’s 52 cards that you can find out about over here.

Connections #5/52

Before I write about the journaling I do want to quickly preface these cards with the fact that when I share them I am not in a place of angst, no matter what the journaling may indicate!! :)

I never know entirely what part of my week I am going to focus on, I just begin selecting bits and pieces to stick on the card. Then I do some writing and the card becomes reflective of something going on this week, but like so many things in life it only tells part of the story, so I would hate people to take it out of context and think what an angst-filled life I lead because it really isn’t.

It is nice to have time for the navel-gazing and getting those spinning thoughts out of your head where they can see the light and you can see the truth of the stories a little easier. Hence also why I share. Because in deciphering my writing on these cards to share them here I often have little epiphanies when I reread what I wrote.

This card was reflective of a conversation I had with a good friend in the last week over some distress and shame I was feeling about certain things. She listened to me patiently and reframed the way I was thinking about it, which was SOOOOO needed.

But you can also see part of my journaling discusses that this was not what the journaling was going to be about (!:)), and that is the beauty of the cards for me because letting myself work without plan, quite intuitively lets the unexpected be seen. What I think I may write about at the start is not necessarily what comes up, and it has been enlightening for me, and I love the practice and the time for reflection and learning lessons, however slowly. :)

The journaling reads:
Connections this week – Found connections and lost connections. Why is it that lost connections occupy so much head space. Other people’s choices are theirs to own. Why is it so hard for me to accept lost connections for what they are? Why do I make this more than it is or take it personally. Sometimes it is not about me – but why does it feel so bad none the less? Why do I keep on taking it as a personal reflection of my worth. Sometimes it’s nothing to do with me and it is wholly about them and their own lives.

Why do I always think it is my lacks rather than something else entirely? Another way to torture myself and point to my own lack of self-worth and personal values.

This was meant to be about the good connections of this week and there were plenty of them too. But I really need to let go of their stuff.

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3 thoughts on “Connections and letting go

  1. Oh I hear you girlfriend I do, when people no longer interact with our lives time is spent, mending and repairing and thinking about what could/would/should have been, that we get swallowed up in the negative. Know that only you have the ability to put this negativity down, accept where things are, if you feel the need/chance to reconnect and it feels right go with the flow, but also accept sometimes the break is to broken, the gap to wide, to reestablish and in these times pull those loved ones near you that little bit closer. Sending you love!

  2. Letting go is a very important thing to do! Especially, when it’s other people’s situations! Listen and then shake it off! Maybe cleanse yourself afterwards, by smudging some sage ;o) It works ;o)

  3. Oh wow – I have been having this exact conversation with Craig. I feel so bad about some lost/losing connections right now. I feel like I have tried and tried to reconnect but you can only do so much before you feel like a stalker right? Hard when it’s friends you felt and thought you were so close to or – family. How do you let go of family? Just wait I suppose. Be there if they come back. Craig is much more direct. Cut ’em off is his solution. Move on, clean break. Is that a man thing I wonder. Good post Natasha :)

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