Wow. A month. Over a month.
At first I was running late because I was focused on Spring holidays with the children. Which went really really well as an aside! I had posts planned, and written in my head, but when it came time that I had a chance to sit down and write I just didn’t have anything to say.
But life was good if quiet. Nothing bad, some gentle unraveling and abiding. Introspective. Healing.
And then the last few weeks hit. It has been a firestorm of shedding layers and there is a tonne of raw emotion, that has been journaled, and arted if not fully resolved. But all the good stuff that comes with self reflection and growing. Life lessons abound. Thank goodness for the quiet peace I had before that storm struck because it caught me unawares and I floundered for a week before I began to slowly find my feet, only to have the ground move again. Now the ground underneath me feels more solid than it has in a long time! I said to my beloved in the middle of all of it, that I wasn’t sure if I was just sad (because I couldn’t stop crying), or cycling into depression again.
On the other side of what I hope is the worst of it, I can say I was sad. And I faced it, lived with it, surrendered to it, and I have come out stronger than ever in November! (She says ever so hopefully!)
So that pretty much sums up October. Quiet and peaceful and then sad, tumultuous and giving me a tonne of lessons to learn. :)
But over all I kept my shite mostly together, so I am here feeling pretty proud of myself! Because the bad is only part of the experience, not the ENTIRE experience (and there has been plenty of good as well). A lesson I need to keep reminding myself when I want to just hide under the covers and sob my days away.
My girl and I had a night without the boys and she had her first spa night with facemasks and painted nails which she loved!
So much I love in both of them, and in both things I was drawn to and don’t understand why yet. ALTHOUGH just as I type, my October one had an empty room with a scorpion, so maybe I should not have been so surprised by events that transpired towards the end of October!!
And love was had and witnessed.
A full lived in month (and that is without the art journals and art that will come in a later posts because this is long enough now!!).
I am so ready for November, my birthday month and Spring and fresh asparagus.
Bring it on.