So I wrote this post this morning, and then wrote my to do list.
Given how I was feeling I wrote “Smudge myself” on the list. Just something I felt like I need to do. And when I had written my list, I looked down and the smudging was going to be somewhere near the bottom of my to do list. Not a priority.
And I realised that the smudging could help all the other activities I had to do flow so much better, and why was I putting that aspect of my self-care down the bottom of the list. So with that wake up call I got prepared and smudged my work space and then went outside and smudged me.
And if have to say I feel so much better. Already. I know it is the stuff that makes Tim roll his eyes and call me a raving hippy, but if this is what a raving hippy is I say bring it on. It grounds me and cleanses me and the chance to completely refocus is an incredible gift.
And it is at times like this morning, when I am feeling a bit blah, that I revert back to those rituals that give me peace and keep me grounded. The fact I am even aware that I am in that space and I am able to take action…beyond grateful.
The fact it works…thank you world.
Such simple things make such a big difference for me. I feel like my entire self has shifted over. I feel so much better in the space of an hour.
And then while I was packing up, I noticed at the other end of the table where my daughter had been preparing a “meal” yesterday. I noticed the pine cone and the seeds falling out, and it made me think of something I read earlier in the week, though I can’t for the life of me remember what it was I was reading. That a pine cone takes years to mature and release it’s seeds, but that a bush fire, while destructive in so many ways is also a regenerative force, and can make a pine cone pop instantly and release it seeds to speed regeneration when the ground around it has been “cleansed”/destroyed.
Made me think of what I had just done, and the miracle of cleansing and regrowth. And how once upon a time I would have ignored how I was feeling and ploughed on regardless, and also how I suffered from depression for so long…is it really any wonder, when I never took the time to take care of me. To even know what it was to take care of me. That been sick did not involve just taking a panadol and carrying on. And while I sit here, fortunate enough to wax lyrical on smudging and pine cone seeds, I can hear the other side of me, and the one I love more than any other tell me that it is a load of BS. And I don’t care. Because I know how I felt this morning. And I know how I feel now, and there is a world of difference. And I say love the hippy if that is a tool that works so well and so simply for me.
To remember this lesson when I am sinking is my desire. Go back to simple. Go to what works. And most important. Stop. Take a break.